USA, All the Way!

It's been a month since our trip; now we're back in the best country on God's green earth. While we were abroad, we kept track of how much the rest of the world worships at our the USA's feet. We'll try not to offend any of the awesome foreigners we met in Europe. We're not making any promises, though.

The U.S. Army and McDonald's at Checkpoint Charlie in Berlin. Yup, pretty American.

And, apparently, the "soldiers" are actually strippers. They get picked up in a stripper van at dusk every night. Let's just say we threw them a few singles.

Kendrew, chugging while daydreaming about baseball and apple pie.

Frandrew, daydreaming about the male strippers on the other side of the checkpoint.

Hearty German breakfast.

A sailor? Um...good man!

Hearty lunch in Cesky Krumlov.

F-ing Paris. Stealing our idea to assign numbers to our subways. 

NASCAR and baseball. That's what we do!

Kendrew thought some of Hefner's tricks would help him out  with the European ladies.

Paris sucked so bad that we sat in our hostel watching American TV and getting hammered. SPARTACUS!

There are assholes in Europe, too.

Gay or not, we claim both of these guys.

Doritos in Amsterdam. Notice what they're called. Yeah, we're pretty sure American delis don't sell any chips called "Cool Dutch."

Is this Japanese, Dutch, or American? We'll go with American, because the USA is the undisputed video game champ of the world.

Keep trying to look like an American.

Hearty dinner in Amsterdam.

Crappy name for a bar, awesome decorations.

Hearty brunch in Dublin.

American football, the only kind of football there is.

Milwaukee, where the liquid cheese flows like wine and the obese women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano.

Dublin prepared for our arrival.

Different box, same cardboardy goodness.

Same bottle, same delicious goodness.

Kendrew wanted to examine her amber waves of grain.

Back off, Berlin! You can claim his musical "talents," but this is 100% American. (Trust us--click on that link.)

From cheek to shining cheek!

Berlin wall. Suck it, USSR!

We are not exaggerating when we say we ate at Mickey D's or the B.K. Lounge in every city we visited.

Chippy!

Kendrew preparing to audition upon our return home.

Even Aussie Suzie knows who the world's greatest superpower is.

The G.O.A.T. in Prague.

Brad Pitt in A River Runs Through It. No sexier man has ever been created. And, yes, we argued about this for a good hour at the Museum of Beer in Prague. Frandrew won the argument. Brad wins.

We eat those.

The King of Beers, Czech-style.

KFC Delivery? Maybe Europe is better than the USA in some ways.

Hearty linner in Prague.

Why is there a foreign language near our flag?

Oooookay.

The South will rise again, as they'll tell you in Dublin.

Kendrew showing his true colors.

USA rules! Sorry we're not sorry.